Does anyone else ever feel stuck in a rut?
I’ve got all these idea’s in my head but I just can seem get them into the world. Whether that is writing an article, creating a reel, working on the podcast, creating content for AM Fitness, or getting my continuing education.
I know what I need to do but can’t find the motivation actually do it.
That is where discipline trumps motivation BUT I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I’ve been as disciplined as I should, because I have not.
I put discipline as my word of the year this year but so far I’ve not followed through.
There are day that I beat myself up by berating myself with thoughts like “You’re a failure.” “Why can’t you just get your shit together?” “Why are you constantly screwing up?” “You’re never going to succeed if you keep this stupid behavior up!” “Stop being an asshole, and do it.” “You suck.” “Why do you even try?” “Fraud!!!” and the list goes on but I’ll spare you those details.
Then, there are days that I give myself a little grace and realize that life happens. However, sometimes I use the “give yourself grace” attitude as an excuse to not follow through.
I am 100% an advocate for giving yourself grace because life does happen and we are not super human BUT there are times that we don’t really need the grace because we taking advantage of it by using it as a cop-out. And what we really need is a slight kick in the ass.
I’m NOT saying go to the extreme of the berating yourself because that does no good. None. Being a true asshole to yourself only reinforces your false belief that you aren’t capable/worthy.
The truth lies in the middle ground between grace and berating; more of a “Suck it up, buttercup! You got this.”
We all have what Andy Frisella[1] calls “the bitch voice.” It’s basically that voice that keeps trying to talk us out of things we know we need to do but somedays just “ugh, don’t wanna.” We say things like:
Tomorrow
I’ll go this evening.
I’ll do it this weekend.
Skipping 1 set won’t hurt.
Hitting the snooze button.
Etc.
We all have those concession we make with ourselves, but have you ever noticed it is usually only ourselves we make those concession for? If we promise a friend we will do x,y, and z, we will usually do everything in our power to do x,y, and z; even if we grumble and complain to ourselves because we don’t wanna.
Why is it we value ourselves so much less than anyone else? Maybe because we have been berating ourselves for years, making giving in to the bitch voice so much easier because “What gives us the right to fight back. The asshole voice in our head is speaking truth.”
That voice is NOT speaking truth. It is you letting the imposter syndrome sneak in, the self-doubt, the fear. Speak up and tell it to “Shut its stupid lying mouth!”
However, that still doesn’t get our butts off the couch or out of bed to actually follow through with the work that needs accomplished. That is where we have to not give into the “give yourself grace” excuse.
Here is where we “Suck it up, Buttercup!”
The truth is we have dreams to chase and goals to achieve, (along with those general life things that are the unfun part of being an adult that are necessary to do), and those things are never going to get accomplished if we don’t make ourselves do things when we don’t wanna.
So there has to be some motivating factor to get you up and going. This is where the “Why?” comes in. It helps acts as that kick to get you moving when the bitch voice kicks in.
What is your why?
Why is your why your why?
If you are doing something solely for someone else* or out of spite of someone else, that is only going to hold so much power. (*I say this with the caveat that “My Kids” being a why is typically the exception)
If you have no reason for striving for something, how are you ever going to fine the drive to follow through when the motivation is lacking?
Don’t think that I don’t have focus in on my Why a lot of time. I’ve got different Why’s for different goals but my ultimate goal, as selfish as it may sound is me.
I deserve my dreams.
I deserve my happiness.
I deserve my health.
I deserve my life.
You do too!
Doing things for yourself doesn’t make you selfish and ultimately having that WHY reaches so many other aspects of the true reason we are doing things.
My dreams involve helping people to live better, healthier, happier lives.
My happiness comes from loving myself and my life, a life that I strive to touch other people in a positive way.
My health matters because if I’m not healthy, I’m a help to no one, nor do I get to experience many of the other joys life has to offer.
My life is the only one I have and I deserve to take up space and have the life I dream.
You see how it all connects together?
Whatever your “Why”, make sure it includes yourself.
This isn’t the end all be all to never feeling stuck in the rut but it definitely helps when you need to keep trudging through the muck.
Do yourself a favor today. Take a moment a write out your Why. You don’t have to share it with anyone but get it out in the world where you can see it and go back to it.
Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.
Now, “Suck it up, Buttercup. We got this!!”
Ashley
[1] The CEO of 1st Phorm, Author/Creator of 75 Hard – Live Hard, Podcast Host of REAL AF with Andy Frisella
Commentaires