Imposter Syndrome: Defined in a broad sense as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.
In a post in the Harvard Business Review, they state “Psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes developed the concept, originally termed “imposter phenomenon,” in their 1978 founding study, which focused on high-achieving women. They posited that “despite outstanding academic and professional accomplishments, women who experience the imposter phenomenon persist in believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.”
I love how they expressed it as “believing that they are really not bright and have fooled anyone who thinks otherwise.” Because that just hits the nail on the head for me.
I graduated law school top third of my class. (However, if I’m honest, I didn’t put near as much mental power and effort into that process as I could and should have but that’s not here nor there.) I passed the bar in 2012. 2012!
I have been a licensed attorney since 2012. Yet here I am, 10 years in (Give me a minute here, that’s a number I have to process every time I think about it lol) and still don’t feel qualified.
There are many days that I feel like I am just faking it and somehow making it. I don’t always feel like I’m getting more confidence and more skilled in my field but rather, simply improving my acting skills and bullshitting abilities.
Recently, I thought that I was feeling more confident in myself and my lawyering abilities but then…I lost.
Rationally, I realize that that particular case was not that strong and I did everything I could do. I presented all the evidence. The decision was out of my hands, solely within the Judge’s discretion of the presented evidence and on this day, he did not believe the evidence was on my side.
However, this rational thought process is not what goes through my brain. It is thoughts of “I’m inadequate.” “I shouldn’t be doing this.” “I’m a failure.” “Why do people trust me with important stuff!?” “How do I still have a job?” “Who let me be ‘qualified’ for this?” and the list goes on.
If you have ever experienced these sorts of feelings, you are not alone!! “Around 25 to 30 percent of high achievers may suffer from imposter syndrome. And around 70 percent of adults may experience impostorism at least once in their lifetime, research suggests.”[3]
One of the ways that I use to get out of my own “fraud” status is to acknowledge what I have accomplished. This is why I write down my 3 little wins every day, it is a little daily reminder that I do to actually know what I’m doing. That I’m not a failure or a fraud. I earned this!
Sometimes when I’m really in a funk, I have to make myself write down EVERYTHING that I have accomplished. I graduated HS, made it into collage, graduated college on the Presidents Honor Roll, was accepted into law school with a scholarship, graduated law school, passed the Bar Exam on the first try, am I a practicing prosecutor whom my boss seems to think is deserving of the position, and am given responsibilities that they believe I am more than capable of.
I use the example of career based imposter syndrome because it is the easiest for me to rationalize away because we can feel like a fraud in many areas of our lives.
In fact, as I sit here and write this, I’m fighting my internal critic question what gives the right or qualification to give you advice? Why the heck should anyone what to read what I write?
VeryWell gives some other good tips on coping with the imposter[4]:
· Share your feelings. Talk to other people about how you are feeling. Irrational beliefs tend to fester when they are hidden and not talked about.
· Focus on others. While this might feel counterintuitive, try to help others in the same situation as you. If you see someone who seems awkward or alone, ask that person a question to bring them into the group. As you practice your skills, you will build confidence in your own abilities.
· Assess your abilities. If you have long-held beliefs about your incompetence in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, and compare that with your self-assessment.
· Take baby steps. Don't focus on doing things perfectly, but rather, do things reasonably well and reward yourself for taking action. For example, in a group conversation, offer an opinion or share a story about yourself.
· Question your thoughts. As you start to assess your abilities and take baby steps, question whether your thoughts are rational. Does it make sense to believe that you are a fraud, given everything that you know?
· Stop comparing. Every time you compare yourself to others in a social situation, you will find some fault with yourself that fuels the feeling of not being good enough or not belonging. Instead, during conversations, focus on listening to what the other person is saying. Be genuinely interested in learning more.
· Use social media moderately. We know that the overuse of social media may be related to feelings of inferiority. If you try to portray an image on social media that doesn't match who you really are or that is impossible to achieve, it will only make your feelings of being a fraud worse.
· Stop fighting your feelings. Don't fight the feelings of not belonging. Instead, try to lean into them and accept them. It's only when you acknowledge them that you can start to unravel those core beliefs that are holding you back.
· Refuse to let it hold you back. No matter how much you feel like you don't belong, don't let that stop you from pursuing your goals. Keep going and refuse to be stopped.
I LOVE the last one: “Refuse to let it hold you back.”
I use the phrase “stop, stopping yourself” a lot and that is the same concept. You’ve got to acknowledge your worth. Acknowledge your capabilities. Acknowledge that you can and should.
Actually, I can.
Actually, YOU can.
Tell the imposter to kick rocks.
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