I sat down to write this post that I had so many ideas of throughout the last week but now that I’m here, my mind is drawing blank.
Who’s had similar stuff happen?
I think it is safe to say that we all have. Isn’t it frustrating!?
Now, I could focus on this as a sign “I’m not meant for this.” “Clearly, this isn’t for me or who I am.” “Why do I even try?” Etc.
OR, I could just chalk it up to its 6:30 in the morning, my coffee seems to do missing it’s caffeine, and I’m letting the false narratives about myself take over my brain.
I’ve been rereading Atomic Habits by James Clear because I needed a refresher and to start putting some of the principles back into action.
One of the things he starts out talking about is how our identity shapes our habits but that the reverse is also true.
Most of the time we set goals and what to create habits based on what we want to achieve, so we are focused on outcomes. We try to implement processes that will get us to that outcome, but have you ever tried and failed at sticking to a new process? I know I sure have.
It is easy to for the first few weeks but then we fall back into old patterns because, truth is, we don’t believe that is who we are. We don’t identify as a person who acts that way or achieves that outcome.
Therefore, we are sabotaging who we WANT to be with who we currently BELIEVE we ARE.
“It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behavior.”
“It’s one things to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.”
Think about this, we all have things we say we are or aren’t. Things that we associate with our identity and who we are as individuals, and we act in accordance with those beliefs.
Examples:
· I’m not a morning person.
· I’m bad at math.
· I’m terrible at public speaking.
· I’m fat.
· I’m shy.
· I’m brash.
· I’m not a runner.
· I’m a writer.
· I’m a procrastinator.
· I’m _______ or not _______.
When we try to implement new habits to change, we fail to change our beliefs.
Our beliefs are not just going to change overnight, in a week, or month. They have YEARS worth of reinforcements and roots. They are well established.
The book uses the example of uprooting an old oak tree vs cultivating a new baby seedling. Every action you’ve taken to this point has been in support of growing the now old oak tree. The same time and attention is going to have to go into new seeding and the work to dig up the old.
The good thing is it doesn’t take massive change all at once. Small, seemingly insignificant, actions are votes towards the person you want to become. The more you repeat these actions the more reinforcement they have.
Every time you go for a run, you reinforce that you are a runner.
Every time you wake up 30 minutes earlier, you reinforce that you are morning person.
Every time you go to the gym, you reinforce that you are someone who gyms.
Every time you sit down and write, you reinforce that you are a writer.
So I’m sitting here, writing, despite my brain clanging drums in the background that that’s not who I am, because I’m voting for myself. For the me I want to be.
You see, I do have outcome goals but I need to change inside to create supportive processes to reach that destination.
What are you doing today to vote for yourself?
Ashley
Outcomes = what you GET
Processes = what you DO
Identity = what you BELIEVE
Comments