In one day my entire world was turned upside down.
Another party had planned it for months, yet failed to include me on the plan (he enjoys the element of surprise). He had opened the flood gates while I was trying to keep my head above water in the shit storm my life had become. Thankfully friends were offering me branches; the support I needed to survive.
I was angry at myself for ignoring the signs that were clearly there for years; for putting all my effort into something that was so selfishly turned against me. My life was destroyed and I no longer trusted my own intuition to know what was right.
After about eight months, the friend branches became weak. Not because my friends aren’t amazing (they are), but because life! They had their own things going on. My lack of trust in myself made me constantly in their ear seeking validation that what I was doing was correct.
My negativity was all consuming and was impacting every portion of my life.
When I was spinning like a top, completely done, and felt every aspect of my life was at the lowest possible point, I called Ashley. I told her I couldn’t handle this anymore and I was just DONE! In complete tears (I rarely cry), I gave her my honest perception of my life and I had reached the last straw.
Ashley said, “Stop overthinking. It sucks but there is plenty to be grateful for.” I was distraught and tried to argue. She responded, “I have to interview a young victim about inappropriate things that happened to her so I need to go to bed. I will call you tomorrow and you will tell me the three things you WROTE that you are grateful for.” I was livid, but complied.
Ashley and I had completely changed roles. Ashley had always been the one telling me about things and I would tell her very BRASHLY, “Shut up! Handle your shit and this is how. You are too good for [insert current crisis], and know your damn worth!”
The next day, as promised, Ashley called. We went through my list of gratitude and then she told me to go for a walk. Again, I complied. While on the walk we discussed different books she read that helped her during her tough times. We decided each day we would write down three things we are grateful for, do some sort of exercise (hers significantly more strenuous than mine), and accomplish something on our personal “to-do” list.
Each morning, I woke up and wrote down my three things I was grateful for that day. Then I would put on an audiobook and walk the neighborhood. After which, I would accomplish one task (somedays the task was bigger than others).
After a few months, I realized the process was getting easier. I was more confident in my own abilities and less reliant on other's validation that I was making the correct choice.
Ashley and I chatted and decided we should make a book/journal. Our simple steps had made a HUGE impact in each of our lives when we were at our lowest. Thus, L.I.F.E. began.
As time went on, we continued our self-discovery and realized we needed reflection. We did these in our chats with each other (“Look how far you have come.” “Do you remember that phone call?” “Remember when you complained about X, and now that doesn’t even bother you.”). So we decided at the end of the day we needed a little reflection on what made that day what it was. We also needed to see how far we had come in our individual goals. Thus L.I.F.E.R.
Ashley and I are both very service oriented. The more we read and discovered (thanks, Gary John Bishop), the more we realized we felt the most impactful when we served others. The smile at one person, pointing out something great in another (that they may not see themselves), helping with a mundane task, etc. brightened our day as well as the person receiving. Service was what brought us happiness.
When trying to survive (L.I.F.E.) we must first take care of ourselves. As we strengthen ourselves and after our bucket is full, we are able to provide services and support to others.
Thus, L.I.F.E. 2 L.I.F.E.R.S. was born.
The roadmap that helped us get through our darkest days and see the “Sun on a Cloudy Day” (Tones and I). Enjoy!
-Kaimee
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