We live in a society that recognizes anniversaries, both positive and negative, constantly. There are birthdays, anniversaries, etc. We even have photo memories and social media memories constantly showing us what was happening on certain days in the past.
A few weeks ago, I informed a few friends that the next few months would be challenging due to some difficult anniversaries coming up. Many friends were supportive and simply said they would be around if/when I needed them. Many scheduled plans for us.
Then I received this message, “It’s unfortunate that you are giving days that independent variables power like that. Negative anniversaries are only given power by you. You are choosing to recognize it one way or the other.”
This message intrigued me. It was so obvious and accurate, yet I never realized the active role I was playing in reviewing these tough times. Yes, I am all about feeling the feelings and reviewing the past so I can grow/not repeat the past. However, this simple message completely changed my outlook.
Though I am still in the thick of my difficult anniversaries, I have chosen to take a different view. My initial approach would have focused on the misery that was out of my control in the past and relive it. Since receiving that message, I have instead looked at those memories and realized that was the starting point. That was the baseline and have allowed me to see all of the progress I have made over the last year.
By simply changing my perspective, I have had a constant smile on my face. It has helped me to look at how overwhelmed and frustrated I have been for the majority of my life and by taking a step back I finally see the good.
Each day in my Life2Lifers journal, I list three things I am grateful for. Prior to the journal publication, and about this time last year, I was doing this daily with Ashley. This small habit has changed my view of the world. I walk around with a smile on my face and a sense of calm.
I used to tell Ashley how I didn’t accomplish much each day. The reality is, I still accomplish a decent amount most days and some days I even do more than I used to. The difference is I am now free of the stress and anxiety that previously burdened me and kept my on edge.
Encounters that would have previously annoyed me, I simply laugh at and move on. This has helped me in all aspects of my life. All with a few simple habits that were started about a year ago.
I encourage all of you to celebrate the anniversaries, but from the good. When looking at the social media memories or just the memory lane in your head, remind yourself of how far you have come.
Every year we choose to see our strengths and improvements.
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