What is it about making a change that is so hard for us? We don’t like where we are, but we refuse to give up anything to get to where to we want to be.
We focus on the difficult thinking that we have to give up this or sacrifice that but in reality, if we don’t sacrifice for what we want, what we want becomes the sacrifice.
Read that again: “If we don’t sacrifice for what we want, what we want becomes the sacrifice.”
In my last post, I talked about the book that gave me my wakeup call: “Unf*uck Yourself” by Gary John Bishop.
He talks about how we need to be real and honest with ourselves. If we are unhappy with where we are but aren’t going to do anything to change where we are, we are in essence willing to accept our current situation. We are complicit in our current situation.
He uses both “willing” and “unwilling” as motivation because if we think about it, both can be just as powerful.
What are we unwilling to do? If we are in-fact unwilling to continue on the path we are on, we will be willing to make the changes necessary to get us off it.
There comes a point in time when we have make to the decision to do what it takes to get to where we want to be. To actually make the choice to make a change that is going to change our lives, not just temporary quick fix it.
These changes don’t have, nor do they need to, start out as large life complete life changes. Small changes add up and then they can be built upon, this keeps you from becoming overwhelmed. As James Clear states in Atomic Habits (which is an amazing book, by the way):
“Meanwhile, improving by 1 percent isn’t particularly notable—sometimes it isn’t even noticeable—but it can be far more meaningful, especially in the long run. The difference a tiny improvement can make over time is astounding. Here’s how the math works out: if you can get 1 percent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done. Conversely, if you get 1 percent worse each day for one year, you’ll decline nearly down to zero. What starts as a small win or a minor setback accumulates into something much more.”
When you become willing to start making changes, no matter how small, you start to build the life you want instead of simply willing to accept the life you have.
“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits
You CANNOT keep living the same type of life, doing the same things, and expect life to change. Especially, in a direction that you want to go.
“Any habit can be a bad one if you’re not conscious to the effects. What’s the product of your effort? What’s the impact of your choices? What cascading and far-reaching outcomes may your actions have? Do you have the proper motivation to do things differently? Avoiding consequences starts with accepting reality. Conscientiousness is the catalyst for change. Even a small change-even the effort to change, even the genuine desire to change-represents progress and makes the next transition easier.” – gfda.co
Staying stagnant is acceptance, willingness.
I fell into this trap for many years myself, wanting something different; wishing my life was like x, y, or z’s but never willing to do anything but complain about it.
How did that help? It didn’t. It got me nowhere but more of the same that I was tired of having and tired of it being my story.
It would not until I decided to do something different, being UNWILLING to accept my current situation and mindset.
Are you willing to be complicit in staying in the status your life is in? Or are you ready to do something different?
You decide.
Ashley
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